hmmph...wat a clumsy life term is it...!!!

haiz...watz happening wf me..?? watz happening in my life..?? why seems tat all things had been changed...?? Relationship wf parents...?/ love..?? Friendship..??/ myself..?? wat m i doing n thinking..?? N wat is THAT I usually want n wish..?? i dunoe...!!!
HELP....

rainnie day....

Hmmph...juz reach hum frm kampar no longer.....very tired now....kekekee....
Realli very hate to go bek kampar....WHY...??
I'm nt hated the placed lar...i juz hated myself oni lar....and aso SUM1 else...????

Everytime bek kampar also the same....dunoe why will cry suddenly de....Shot jor....but i noe what's the reason...it was bcoz of cwai....bcoz there's alot of fresh 'moment' that v shared 2gether b4 in tt small town....nt even there...actually KL also hv...eventhough the house i'm staying now aso hv....BUT mayb bcoz i'm too bc here...so i dun hv time to quite down myself...so won't think bout him vri often.... BUt once i'm free....den HE juz like a ghost....oways kacau my mind....!!!! hmmphh....

Long long time din meet him le....Long long time din contact him le....den i tot i reali put Him down ady...plus sumur i thinked b4 i started 2 fal in luv in other guy....But afta a period....i found tt i dun like tt guy de....juz mizundersatanding my feelings jek...
Until 2day....i realy understand that i really very stupid.....omost 2 years de relationship...?? 'mm thong' reali nid 2 years or ++ to put down...???? hmphh....
I found that i still love Him....Even mur than i tot...wat m i doin...??

I cried when i'm on my way bek 2 KL in the bas...my mind juz kip on thinking bout him....Pei Zhern told me...."Why u still miz him...?? He ady dump u...He ady dun miz u...."
Yayaya....i noe...but wat can i do...?? I suppose to hate Him...but i juz dunoe why...naturally....i love Him more....But nt hate him...kekeke....DAMN STUPID.....

and the life after seperate wf him...dun like sosial life ady...
love 2 stay alone....althought i'm scared 2 b alone....!!!! Confusing lar....kekekee...

Reali wish to noe how is He.....??
Realy wish to ask 'Do u miz me..??"
wish to let Him noe tt i love him.....
wish to meet him....
wish to hug him....
wish to talk wf him...
wish to share my feelings n thinkings wf him no matter i'm happy or down...!!!
but i'm nt dare to.........coz i'm a kura-kura........................

rainny day...

haizzz....

Hmmph....ady long long time din jot down sumthing here le....!!!

What had happened for the past few weeks...?? hmmphhh....alot of things....

1. I dunoe what to study now....!!!
2. I dunoe why am I so pressure...!!??
3. I dunoe why I still keep on dreaming bout HiM...!!??
4. Why there's so many condition in my life recently...!!!
5. Am I happy with what i'm doing n have now...??
6. Am i really have to study in Kampar UTAR..>??
7. Can I firther my studies to JApan successfully...??
8. How is He..?/
9. Why am I so stupid...??
10. Friendship...?/
11. Working Life...??
12. Genting...??
13. Family...??
14. Broadcasting..?? Public Relationship...?? Japanese..?? STPM...??Early childhood..?? Tourism and Hospitality...??/
15. Why I got so many Why...????????

There's alot of things for me to think and to make up my mind...to make a decision or conclusion....but I juz like wish to run away from these things...!!! Why...?/ Is it bcz there's TOO much things or condition ady..??

Haiz.....who can help me in this...?? I keep on praying n praying....But it seems like din gt any respone or answer from GOD....WHY...?/ Is it bcz I not trusted HIM enuf...??

HOw 's my life afta tiz..?? I really wish to further my studies.....exspecially to Japan....ppl asked...Why you wanna go Japan...?? I really dunoe why lar...!!!

mayb bcz i juz wanna run away from 'Sumthing'...?? But I myself aso dunoe what is tt "sumthing"...??!!!!! Confusing hor...?/ Life really like tt one de lar...!!!??

My head really bcome bigger n bigger de lo....til now still hvn' t decide yet...!!!!!

GOD ...PLEASE LEAD ME TO YOUR WAY>>>>

I REALLY NEED YOUR ANOINTING>>>

I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP>>>GUIDE ME>>>AND HOLD ME>>>

Hold my life in your hand....which i can fil in your power....Love me and dn't leave me....bcz i really scared about it...!!!

haizz....

Damn...

i love him...??
i love him not....
i still love him...??
i still love him not...??
i miss him...??
i miss him not....??
i hate him...???
i hate him not...??

why...?? why...?? why...???
why i still concern bout him...??

tiz morning...my sis suddenly asked me bout chun Wai....
i found that i'm 'acting' tat time...act like nthin.....

hmmphh...at the same time....i thinked what Jia Xi told me....
the more u say u dun care...actually it shows the more u still love him.....
Damn...........

confusing.......i hate diz feelings.....
everytime i tot that i ady put down...there muz b something happened n let me thinked bout him again.....
why...? why...? why...??????/

i really dunoe ....dunoe....DUNOE........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blank and LOST in a sudden...!!!

Hmmphhh.....what happened...?? why seems like all bad things happened onto me...??

The 1st Bad things that i don't wish to happened is seperate wf HiM....and then...things seems like continue n continue...it keeps on happened to me....bad things seems like bcum my bestfren ady....!!!!

Now....even worst...!!! can't enter Local Uni....i tried 2 appeal...but they said " You tak dapat apa-apa tempat dalam UM kan..?? Itu jadilah You tak jadi buat rayuan.." what the hell...!!!
i can't get my course juz bcoz i'm not UM student...?/ Bull Shit...Damn....What a F??k....!!!

Sorry...type so many rude words here...juz wish to release my feelings....kekeke....

Now ...juz feel lost....dunoe wat to do now....all my frenz are studying already...but me...?? haiz....STUPID FELLOW....!!!!!!


My sis told me tiz morning...kenot enter Uni now it's ok....dun think that it ll "die"...!!! n dun compared urself to ur fren...late 1 or 2 years too cntinue study is ok...the most important thing is you hv to make sure n understand what you wanna study.....then work hard 4 it...!!!!

so..that's y i'm here 2day...bcoz i juz search internet juz now...for more info bout Japanese....hahhaa...if not..i think i won't b writing here...wakakaka....


HAIZ....really very "au huet" sometimes....

so "sun fu" oni ran out from HiM...then i can live very well...n can look for what i wanna do....mana tau...now suddenly all things stuck there....made me blank ....n can't go forward 2 success my wish....!!!!!!!